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slideRyan Patrick DelJames Hodgins was born on Aug 29 2005. My water broke around 6am he was taken by c-section around 9pm. He was 6 weeks early weighting 3lbs 5ozs.. When I was first brought to see him in the Nursery I was not aware of his disability.. I didn't even know anything was wrong.. I thought he was just getting oxygen because he was early and very little. After seeing Ryan I went to bed I was tired. When I woke up a couple doctors came into my room and sat with me, telling me my son had RTS.. At first all I could do was cry not because he had a disability but because he was sick and I didnít understand what it was, no one really told me right away. The doctors took me to Ryan and started showing me and teaching me what RTS was. He was the first baby in Kelowna BC born with RTS, the doctors said it took them a couple hours to figure out what was wrong. They showed me thumbs witch were a little flat and bigger then normal, the toes were bigger as well, his ears were lower then normal, his bottom lip was sunk in a little bit, and he had this big red birth mark on his forehead. No one knew what he had. I had to tell my husband Jeff Hodgins  of only 23 days (Married Aug 6 2005) that our little lamb Ryan was sick. We also had to tell the family that was there to visit him that they could not. Not even our 3 year old son Derek could go in and see his little brother. Everyone was sad but happy he was healthy. We loved Ryan no matter what. The next day some more doctors came in to see me, they had more bad news. Ryan was born with 3 holes in his heart so we had to be flown to Vancouver Sick Kids Hospital he was 2 days old. It took the doctors 2 hours to intibate him before the flight. My husband Jeff had to drive out. My sister drove out from Calgary Alberta to watch and spend time with our 3-year-old son Derek. Once in Vancouver doctors planed to do surgery to fix his heart but as time went on doctors started to notice there was alot more wrong with him so they started testing him. They figured out that yes he had RTS but he had a normal brain just like any other child born he just had the physical appearance of RTS. We were happy to hear that. He was doing very well. On day 4 we had to drive back to Kelowna to visit our son it was hard I didnít want to leave Ryan but I wanted to see Derek. The nurses told me he'd be ok, so we drove home. I phoned to check on Ryan and they told me they were feeding him now, I was so happy it was looking great for him. We went back to visit him and was told that his body rejected the milk. His body could not digest food at all they had to suck all the milk out of his stomach. We were then told he was having liver and kidney failure and he could not go to the bath room on his own. His bowels didnít work. He couldnít poop at all, and his bladder would fill up so they had to put in a catheter to help him. My husband Jeff phoned his mom and sister in Ontario and told them the bad news. My mother-in-Law Sharron asked us if we could get him baptized for her. We said we would. She phoned everyday to check up on him. The doctors said that if they did the surgery they could fix him. So we agreed to do the surgery. My husband Jeff had to go back to Kelowna to work. He drove the 5 hours back to Kelowna. I said good-bye to him and he drove away. I went back in to see Ryan there were 8-10 doctors around him, they told me to go out and wait but I didnít I stayed with him. He was not breathing very well on his own they were trying to intibate him, but everytime they tried his stats went so low they had to back off. They kept trying though. It took almost 4-5 hours before they were able to intibate. By this time I couldnít take it I had to leave the room. After they got Ryan intibated a couple doctors came out and told me that there was not much more that they could do for him. They could do the surgery but he would live his whole life in Vancouver Sick Kids Hospital never being able to leave, or we could take him off life support making him as comfortable as possible. But it was up to me. I told them I had to phone my husband and family. I wasnít ready for this. They had also informed me that due to all the intibations he was possibly brain dead due to lack of oxygen. I phoned home and talked to my dad first, then my husband. My husband drove back right away. We had decided to take him off life support and make it so he felt no more pain and was free. My mom, sister, my son Derek and my Auntie Gail drove to Vancouver the next day. My dad couldnít come he just couldnít handle it. After everyone got to go in and meet Ryan we then had him baptized. At 7:00pm on Sept 8th 2005 we took Ryan off life support. Doctors told us he wouldnít live longer then an hour. He sure proved them wrong he lived for 8 hours and 15 mins. We walked around with Ryan and let the whole family hold him and say goodbye. We also took him outside only for about 2 mins just to feel the breeze it was raining and windy. It was hard for everyone. Around 1:00am we all laid down in one bed Jeff, Derek, Me and Ryan. Around 2:50am I woke up I donít know why but I did. I noticed his breathing was slowing stopping so I woke up my husband and son. I passed Ryan to Jeff. It was Jeff's wish that Ryan pass away in his arms. After 15 minutes Ryan's breathing stopped. I went to get a nurse and they had confirmed that Ryan had passed away. After they took Ryan's body away Jeff ran after them and told them I wanted the clothes and blankets he passed away in. The clothes had his smell. A smell I still love to this day I put them in a freezer bag. They also gave me his hair, and a couple other things. They made a plaster mold of his hands and feet for us. It was hard to leave Vancouver knowing that Ryan was still there. I wanted to bring his body back but I signed some papers so they could do an autopsy and I let them take some tissue from his organs so they could help other children like Ryan. Maybe one day they will be able to help someone else. We got Ryan cremated, he sits on top of our TV stand, in the room that everyone is in the most. Sometimes my son Derek will come upstairs and tell me heís playing with Ryan, I know what your thinking it sounds weird but sometimes little cars will move on their own. When you watch a scary movie in our house it sometimes feels like someone is rubbing your head... I know it sounds like I'm crazy but I think he's still around watching over us and playing in the house. A couple months later I know this sounds bad but we got pregnant again, not meaning to at all. We've had to go through many testing but we have a healthy baby girl. But she doesnít take the place of Ryan I look at his pictures and think of him everyday. We love and miss our Little Lamb Ryan.

9We call Ryan our Little Lamb meaning the Lamb of GOD

People can feel free to email me at twyty69@hotmail.com

Thank-you

Amber Simpson-Hodgins (mother 23 years old)

Jeffrey Hodgins ( father 25 years old)

Derek Hodgins ( brother 3 years old)

Taylor-Anne Hodgins ( sister 6 months old (she was born after Ryan passed away)